I am not an artist, but I have an arts background, hence I have a mind that often enough thinks in the irresponsible manner of an artist or a child. Being open to ideas that others might dismiss before actually conceptualizing them has led to many fine hours of mental entertainment for me. Some of these ideas I’d love to carry out, other ideas I’d love for others to fulfill. None of them is very practical, and I’m not sure what they might say except perhaps, “Isn’t this cool?”

Like the conceptual/installation artist Christo http://christojeanneclaude.net/ some of these ideas were a bit grand scale.


One such idea for instance was to build what would essentially be a small, clear sided, clear-bottomed pool. Have a swimmer or two get into the pool, naked of course, to preserve the purity of the statement.  Then have the pool lifted by a helicopter and flown over Manhattan, tour-of-the-city style.


It wouldn’t be much of a view for those on the ground, but I bet it would make the water-treaders feel exhilarated. When I was younger, I even imagined that I might like to be one of the water-treaders. Now, I’d worry more that my heart would not be able to withstand such exhilaration. Art, eh?

A less tachycardic idea was based on a much larger scale project. Wouldn’t it be fun to see some artist manage to design a laser light projection of a simple symbol upon the face of the moon? My first thought was that of a five-pointed star because a maple leaf might be a touch fiddley, but then maybe not.


Accounting for the curvature of the moon’s surface could present some challenges but surely those could be overcome. It’s only math and some serious engineering. I suppose too that the copy-cat follow-ups might be less than desirable. We might thereafter be looking up at “Golden Arches” or similar iconographic advertising. Oh well, such things are coming anyway, might as well start with an artistic statement.

My most recent bit of mental ‘art’ entertainment has been more along the lines of a performance piece. The thought was inspired by ballpark vendors. I often see them walking up and down the aisles in ball parks as I watch a game on TV. I know that they are yelling out, hawking their offerings, “Hotdogs! Hotdogs HERE!” and yells offering similar stadium fare.  “I scream, you scream, we all scream for Ice Cream!”


I thought that I might enjoy going to a ball park dressed perhaps in a tuxedo or even a morning suit with tails. Like the vendors, I too would stalk the aisles hawking my offerings. I’d be saying, “Canapés, crudités, champagne, caviar!”


I bet I’d get my share of business, but it would essentially be all about the art, about having made it happen. YouTube, here I come! Just kidding 😉

PS: In reply to a reader’s private comment – You’re right!  The whole flying “Tour of Manhattan” would be improved by changing the pool to a couple of big, clear plastic bags, each with two swimmers.  They could also be hung at the aft end of a huge blimp-like airship, but I don’t think even Christo could get leave to have them pulled down by cable and towed through one of the tunnels before dumping the swimmers onto city streets.