I have something in common with Donald Trump! Yes, yes I do! There’s no denying it, much as I’d like to be able to deny it. On the other hand, a wildly funny and insightful former journalist turned novelist, Dave Barry, http://www.davebarry.com/ and I also share this common trait, so instead of sinking into despondence over the trait Barry and I share with Trump, I guess I’ll just skip the quick jump to suicide and find other reasons to live.

I guess I’ll be able to live happily enough and productively enough even knowing that, like D. Trumpinoccio and like D. Barry, I too am afflicted with deeply seated infantilism.


I thought my infantilism had lapsed when I stopped lighting farts with my friends, but it turns out that (based on safety concerns) only that specific behaviour passed (pardon the pun). I stopped doing other dangerous things too, so naturally I assumed that I was maturing out of the infantile “farts-are-uproariously-funny” stage of life. In truth, I have grown beyond that particular stage, so maybe the issue is more one of remembering too well that it once was funny. Maybe that’s it! Maybe I’m just in touch with my inner child, but then, doesn’t that mean that the inner child is still there? You’ll appreciate my conundrum. Perhaps I’ll submit this pressing issue to the Philosophers’ Quarterly for learned debate and discussion.

Everything seems to be a conundrum these days. Consider this, philosophical thinkers! I posit the following statement for consideration: The only thing in this world that is absolute is that there are no absolutes! “But isn’t that, itself, an absolute? Isn’t that statement self-contradictory?” I hear you saying this. Yes! It is the kind of idea that is worthy of the consideration of philosophers, young children, Donald Trump, Dave Barry and I. In the above named group, only philosophers would deem it a worthy and important challenge. But the rest of us live with that statement as an on-going, accepted, unchallenged truth, self-contradictory though it may be.

This kind of nonsensical background thought does have a tendency to make the synapses mis-fire from time to time. It’s the kind of thing that allowed humans to gain mastery over the Vulcans though. Whenever one of the humans on the Starship Enterprise would want to corral that uppity, all-too-logical Mr. Spock (Note: NOT Dr. Spock), they would simply tell him to consider that one thought and his stymied response was inevitably caught in its own loop that went something like this: “Wait! What?”  Then they’d park him on a shelf somewhere and wait for him to repeat his loopy reply until he’d decide to reboot himself to regain some logical traction.

So am I worried that I share something in common with the Putin-admiring thug who has been bally-hooed into the presidency, the man who is earnestly trying to copy Putin’s example of how to run a country? I am not worried!

Though I am like Trump, in that I suffer from infantilism in advanced age (only semi-advanced age in my case), unlike Trump, I do not seek power, I do try to control myself, and I do not hope to lead non-thinkers into harming thinkers.


Until further notice then, I’ll just do my best to befriend the child within and stay playful in my outlook, if not always in my behaviours.