When one pursues on-line dating for any period of time, one is exposed to many possible dating connections. I was using on-line dating in an attempt to connect with a woman who’d be interested in what I was interested in. That is to say that she’d have the same goals as I have, and our general interests wouldn’t be so far apart as to exclude one another.
The general interests were less important than the goals, I thought. I never expected that any gal even close to my age would enjoy downhill skiing, for example. But that didn’t matter to me. On the other hand, if I read in a woman’s profile how much she enjoyed wilderness camping or even something simple like country music and line-dancing, I knew that I would not be the man for her. I’m a fan of classical music, jazz and the blues. I don’t participate in synchronized anything, and I am generally a fan of the great indoors or at least the civilized, gentile outdoors.
On-line dating sites include many people who are apt to engage in deceit, so one must be wary. There are pros working the sites for either thrills or monetary gain. There are serial daters who would never want an exclusive relationship. There are people who are just testing the waters, not knowing what they really want, themselves. There are gals who seemed to want about what I wanted, but when it came down to the crunch, one of us, either he or she, did not have what it took to sustain interest, effort and time.
I’d been given the boot, and I have to say that I declined to pursue even when pursuit was sought by a woman.
Contrary to the well-meaning advice of many friends, I often gave my blog site info to new women because I have been very open about myself on my blog, and I feel that openness and honesty are linked. I wanted them to know me as completely as they might. I wanted to be accepted for who I am, rather than playing some kind of game of veils to mask illusions being performed.
Even with exposure to the blog, I would hope that any woman reading it would understand that people are whole beings. You cannot know someone completely by reading what they have written, nor by one single meeting. I’ve read much of Margaret Atwood’s writing for example, I even spent more than an hour in private, closed door, one-on-one conversation with her. Do I know her because of that? No! I have met her, perhaps more closely than most people have, but I do not know her.
Ditto for David Suzuki, Farley Mowat, Don Harron, Dick Clark, Cleo Laine, W.O. Mitchell, Jane and Tony Urquhart, etc. As a television producer, one meets many famous and even infamous people, (adventurers and spies) but I can’t say that I know any of them.
One woman, a possible date, even read a few pieces on my blog then wrote to me as if she felt I was some kind of threat to her and asked me to please, back away ‘softly.’ I must admit that her request was one of the few times I felt truly insulted, and I did tell her so before placing my one and only “Block user” on her profile.
But since I pulled down my pictures and put notice on my user profile that I would henceforth be pursuing an exclusive relationship with a woman, other women, whom I had actually met and dated, have written to ask me what was special about my new woman. Essentially they (two of them) were asking, “Why her? Why not me?”
Since my dating has actually increased my readership, I know that one or more of them is likely to read this general explanation.
The woman now in my life has many life-style compatibilities with me. The main two compatibilities that stand out in my mind are related to other blog postings, particularly Right Time, Much to ask and Lucky Jim. My “Wonder Woman” is wonderful to me because she is easy-going, relaxed rather than ‘driven,’ has a peace-of-mind that lets her sleep when she’s tired and eat when she’s hungry. Compatibility with me in that area of life is actually more important than I thought it might be. Perhaps just as important to me, though, is her attitude toward affection. She is not the kiss quickly, bounce-lips type at all. Our kisses are tender, gently exploratory, frequent, long-lasting, pretty much every time. To me, kissing is an expressive act, and I want it to be lovingly done not perfunctorily nor lustfully done every time. Lovingly, every time. She gives me such loving kisses and tender caresses in abundance.
We have many more compatibilities, of course. Some of them are big, important things as mentioned above, others are so minor as to be close to laughable. They are sometimes delightfully laughable because they are so numerous. I’m still learning about her. Maybe it will all come crashing down in a heap and leave me once more bereft, feeling sorry for myself, wondering what I should do next. But it doesn’t feel that way to me. Right now, it feels heavenly. I want it to last. I want her to be my last date ever!
**************** Addendum: To the reader who asked ‘how long’ it took me to write my articles, I wrote this one in 60 minutes. I know because I started it when I put my clothes in the dryer, and I have just been signalled that my clothes are dry. Proofreading, picture selection, posting will take more time, but the main work was finished in one hour.