It’s Canada Day! July 1st. We have truly lovely, cool temperatures, bright sunshine and a gentle breeze. Our jointly-owned flag is fluttering proudly from its position on the fence between me and my next door neighbours. The flag was put out for Victoria Day in May and somehow it just never got taken down, so it is conveniently in place for Canada Day too.
Having had five weeks to observe the flag in all its various states of presentation due to prevailing weather conditions, I have noticed that flags don’t always present themselves quite as well as might be hoped. All too often, when wind is lacking, the flag just droops there, barely recognizable as a flag – a limp rag of a thing, completely uninspired and uninspiring, just hanging there, wrapped around the pole or dangling lifelessly.
For me, since I am most definitely from Mars, (a reference to the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) this was a problem that needed to be solved. Of course this is all, as yet, in my imagination. (Consider that reference to “in my imagination” as a warning! Young and sensitive readers may wish to stop reading here, lest their minds or morals be corrupted.)
I have solved the flag-droop dilemma! Before long, after product development and testing have been completed, prototypes have been built and re-built, patents applied for and registered, copyrights obtained, investments made, production capacity secured, distribution organized and television commercials produced, you’re sure to be treated to one of these commercials on TV. (This is copy presentation only. You’ll have to imagine the accompanying imagery.)
Is your flag hanging, limp and uninspiring? Does your flag sometimes have “flaccid flag syndrome?” Well floppy flags don’t grab anyone’s attention, so don’t tolerate a droopy dangler for one moment more!
Snap-to, buddy! ATTENTION!
Flyagra® is a simple, attachable device that makes your flag stand high and proud! Built of durable, yet flexible, clear, tapered, polyethylene, simply snap Flyagra® in place along the top edge of your flag, zip tie its sturdy mounting base to your flag pole, and you’ll have a flag that will fly tall and proud, regardless of the weather.
Flyagra’s® patented, tapered design allows a Flyagra® flag to stand up proudly in any weather, yet still retain a flexible, natural, weight droop and wind-responsiveness that will set everyone’s hearts aflutter.
Stand up for your flag! And let your flag stand up for you! Get Flyagra® today! Flyagra® is the all weather, banner-stander that won’t let you down! Sold at hardware and discount stores nationwide!
Having an active imagination is great fun. A funny old song from the seventies, said in reference to imbibing in cannabis, – (which I do not do), “… take a trip and never leave the farm.” As you can see, I’m able to entertain myself by pondering a limp rag of a flag – so I really don’t need very much to get me started.
Last year at this time, I wrote a couple of similar notes that prompted my friend, Holly, to inquire, “What are you on?” Then she correctly followed up her question with the correct observation, “Oh! Of course. You’re on vacation!”
And so I am.
PS: The above was written in 2010 when I was still working. Now that I am retired, I get to ponder many more things, with much more time in which to ponder.