Some people I know, and I swear I am not making this up, have told me that they think of me as a thoughtful, sincere, compassionate, reflective man. These people are wrong of course, but I know why they think that way. It is because the roughly 5% of me that carries those qualities is spread like a thin layer of graphene over my outer surface. The 5% is what they see, even as the 95% pure-doofus guy lurks beneath my carefully crafted veneer.
If you haven’t ever read the book, Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys, of course you wouldn’t know what I was talking about. But this important book deserves a place in your house either right beside your copy of The Power of Now, or the Holy Bible, or whatever other important but rarely-consulted books you may have, OR it deserves the truly honoured place of often-consulted reading material – beside your toilet.
Regardless of where you store it, Barry’s “Guys” is must reading if you ever hope to understand guys at all, even if you’re a guy like me who feels that I have no special need to understand guys. After all, I am a guy! Not a pure guy, admittedly, but enough to pass. (I do have that 5% man “skin” that people see.) Barry’s book explains the essential differences between guys and men, and between guys and women. So it offers guys many, “Ah-ha” moments even as it offers others many, “Ha-ha” moments.
I store my copy in the bathroom, and I consult my much revered book with as much ‘regularity’ as I can muster. It never ceases to amaze me, mainly because in true guy fashion, I forget the parts that I had previously read. But the book has lots of revealing, important insights that explain the differences between guys and men. Barry writes, “Men went to the moon, but guys invented mooning” – that kind of thing. Barry also explains the differences between men, women and guys by pointing out how each of them responds to the concept of mortality. He explains that men have built pyramids to last through the ages. Women have pursued religions to give them faith and hope. Guys invented bungee jumping because it is so cool!
If you’re squeamish about such things as sex, you can just consult his table of contents and avoid that chapter called, “The Biological Nature of Guys: Important Scientific Reasons Why They Act Like Jerks.” Then again, perhaps you’d enjoy reading about, and understanding the connection between, guyness and the male toad that will happily hump a human thumb or a beer bottle, while thinking that he’s getting laid. (I have never personally humped either thumb nor beer bottle, but I get the point, and in all honesty, I can’t say that my thumb was never involved.)
Insights to start your day right, and true understanding of that guy who was never true to much of anything, except to you, of course. (Wink)